10 Things LGBTQ+ Employees Wish Their Managers Knew
Thirty-four per cent of Generation Z identify as something other than ‘exclusively heterosexual’ (Ipsos 2018) which means the likelihood you’ll be managing a LGBTQ+ employee in the near future is pretty high. So, if you’re wondering what might be running through your LGBTQ+ employee’s mind when they are beginning to get to know you, keep reading.
Being a good ally and manager for LGBTQ+ people isn’t that hard. Most of us though have rolled our eyes at some point when confronted with an assumption, misstep or even accidental upset. This list will help you avoid the common pitfalls.
We are sometimes nervous about outing ourselves to a new employer
This means we might be cautious and private, so please don’t press us about our personal lives. Do make sure that you’re a visible ally by donning the rainbow lanyard or promoting LGBTQ+ events at work. When we feel comfortable and safe we’ll open up. Remember sometimes it’s simply not safe for us to be out at all.
We have had both really positive experiences of managers, and really, really bad
For many of us we started working when we could still be fired for being LGBTQ+, not to mention we spent 15 years at school under Section 28. We are hoping you’ll be one of the good ones, but please be proactive in your allyship as we are on high alert.
We are extraordinary empathisers, as we know what it feels like to be excluded
We are great value for money as we know what it feels like to not be able to bring our best to work (see above!) and want to avoid that for ourselves and others. We are great at understanding customer and colleague needs and making sure we approach work with an inclusive perspective.
Our community means everything to us, so you can rely on us to be loyal
When we feel safe and supported, you can bet we appreciate it. We are more likely to stay put in a job where we can be ourselves, so putting the work into us means you get us at our best.
Please ask us our pronouns, unless we’ve already told you what they are
Like our names, we hope you’ll make the effort to listen and remember. If you do get them wrong, don’t make a fuss. Quickly apologise, correct yourself and move on. We are very understanding! If you want extra ally points, use our correct pronouns and correct others even when we are not around. The LGBTQ+ gods will look kindly on you.
Our careers have been harder simply because we are LGBTQ+
Much like anyone from a minority group, there is unseen emotional labour that goes on just to get to the same place as our mainstream counterpart. We grew up with the same homophobia as you, which means we can feel insecure and unsafe. We also haven’t benefitted from fitting in and the social privilege that offers. Often we don’t have the same level of familial support. Appreciate the slightly more arduous journey we’ve been on.
We aren’t all white gay able-bodied men
Please, please educate yourself on intersectionality. The experiences of people of colour, those living with disabilities and trans women for example are significantly different. The challenges facing people vary so please do you research and listen to experiences.
We might be happy to be your ‘poster boy/girl/person’, but make sure your house is in order first
Please do not ask to put us in newsletters, on posters or websites if you haven’t got the basics sorted. If you’re still referring to mother and father in your parental leave policy, don’t have Mx in your prefix drop downs or don’t have a trans inclusion policy, then think twice before pink-washing your communications.
Access the right support and make sure your team is informed
Please don’t expect us to educate you and your team. We can help, for sure, but it’s a lot to have to carry that on our own. There are easy ways out there to help educate and inform (including here on this website!).
Yes we do know at least one person from Drag Race UK personally
All LGBTQ+ people know each other through our intricate social network. I joke, of course. However, we can recommend amazing grassroots queer performance in a town near you. In fact, it’s a neat way to socialise with your team away from straight-dominated spaces. Queer art is pretty exciting, and isn’t limited to the big shiny drag shows!
Well, I hope this has demystified a few things for you. If you still have questions, then please get in touch. I’ll be able to support your business in navigating some of the trickier parts of creating an inclusive workplace. Plus, you can be guaranteed a lot of fun along the way.